Is it bad that I didn't really know what that word meant before this whole drama?!
I thought that the hardest part of this episode would be when I was in hospital. And yes, to choose one particular time, the day post operation was very hard and the bleakest individual point. I was so nauseous, tired and had staff coming to observe me and my changing colour chest at 60 minute intervals. I so wanted a family member with me, even if it was just to keep people out! The funniest visitor that day was the insurance rep. I had started crying when she walked in and asked, "How are you?" Sweet intention I am sure, but asking my name as she wrote me my get well soon card....I stayed lying down, smiled bleakly and explained that today was not the best day to visit.
As time went on though my skin returned to its mzungu shade and the recovery began. As well as beating the infection I like to think that I have also beaten my phobia of needles. Perhaps beaten is too strong a word, but I am sure I am less dramatic and a bit calmer!
It has now been over two weeks since I was discharged and I can honestly say they have been the toughest. After a disastrous attempt at a return to work I was released and advised to return to the UK for rest and TLC. These past few weeks have been so boring! It drives me crazy when people tell me to rest and take it easy, when that is all I do and have done for the last 37 days, yet am so bored and frustrated, I want to be active and busy! I have never been a massive TV or film watcher and realize now that personally I need to be around people in order to stay sane and that there are reasons why my lifestyle is as it is, i.e. busy. As I have felt better my waking hours have increased which is great, except that my friends here work full time so it has meant more conscious time alone. My energy levels are still increasing but definitely limited so a trip to the supermarket and a shower may be me done for the day. Time management and forward planning when it comes to utilizing energy quotas have really come into play. My best friend turning 30 and me wanting to celebrate her birthday took careful planning, but I managed it. Even if it did lead to staying in bed till 8pm the next day as was shattered.
I am still not drinking. Starting to miss wine, but don't feel my body is quite up to it yet. My Dr suggested a glass or two the day I left hospital, but decided to not take that advice!
So now to fly home. Kenya is crazily wet at the moment so hoping that British weather won't be too much of a shocker. The rain is set to continue till January so at least I won't miss the sunshine. As time has gone on and boredom has set in I have become down. I miss working so much, and being out and about. A change of scenery will do me good and I hope that I will be returning to Kenya energetic and positive in January as I decide whether my African adventure will end in July or continue for a year or two more.
A major positive and something I am both amazed at and also deeply appreciative of is the support and love I have received here. Often it has come from quite unexpected people and made me realize how manners, warmth and genuine friendliness are vital and offer such great reward. Yes, being away from the UK during this has been hard, but so many people here have offered their homes, families, prayers, resources and time to aid and support me. I have been told off for not taking more people up on their offers and of being too polite to not say when I really am down and in need of company or whatever else. It has made me realize, and I know this is a major cliche, how we can influence and touch people without knowing. My close circle of friends have been phenomenal but the support from people I know much less well has really boosted me too in knowing that they also care.
I thought that the hardest part of this episode would be when I was in hospital. And yes, to choose one particular time, the day post operation was very hard and the bleakest individual point. I was so nauseous, tired and had staff coming to observe me and my changing colour chest at 60 minute intervals. I so wanted a family member with me, even if it was just to keep people out! The funniest visitor that day was the insurance rep. I had started crying when she walked in and asked, "How are you?" Sweet intention I am sure, but asking my name as she wrote me my get well soon card....I stayed lying down, smiled bleakly and explained that today was not the best day to visit.
As time went on though my skin returned to its mzungu shade and the recovery began. As well as beating the infection I like to think that I have also beaten my phobia of needles. Perhaps beaten is too strong a word, but I am sure I am less dramatic and a bit calmer!
It has now been over two weeks since I was discharged and I can honestly say they have been the toughest. After a disastrous attempt at a return to work I was released and advised to return to the UK for rest and TLC. These past few weeks have been so boring! It drives me crazy when people tell me to rest and take it easy, when that is all I do and have done for the last 37 days, yet am so bored and frustrated, I want to be active and busy! I have never been a massive TV or film watcher and realize now that personally I need to be around people in order to stay sane and that there are reasons why my lifestyle is as it is, i.e. busy. As I have felt better my waking hours have increased which is great, except that my friends here work full time so it has meant more conscious time alone. My energy levels are still increasing but definitely limited so a trip to the supermarket and a shower may be me done for the day. Time management and forward planning when it comes to utilizing energy quotas have really come into play. My best friend turning 30 and me wanting to celebrate her birthday took careful planning, but I managed it. Even if it did lead to staying in bed till 8pm the next day as was shattered.
I am still not drinking. Starting to miss wine, but don't feel my body is quite up to it yet. My Dr suggested a glass or two the day I left hospital, but decided to not take that advice!
So now to fly home. Kenya is crazily wet at the moment so hoping that British weather won't be too much of a shocker. The rain is set to continue till January so at least I won't miss the sunshine. As time has gone on and boredom has set in I have become down. I miss working so much, and being out and about. A change of scenery will do me good and I hope that I will be returning to Kenya energetic and positive in January as I decide whether my African adventure will end in July or continue for a year or two more.
A major positive and something I am both amazed at and also deeply appreciative of is the support and love I have received here. Often it has come from quite unexpected people and made me realize how manners, warmth and genuine friendliness are vital and offer such great reward. Yes, being away from the UK during this has been hard, but so many people here have offered their homes, families, prayers, resources and time to aid and support me. I have been told off for not taking more people up on their offers and of being too polite to not say when I really am down and in need of company or whatever else. It has made me realize, and I know this is a major cliche, how we can influence and touch people without knowing. My close circle of friends have been phenomenal but the support from people I know much less well has really boosted me too in knowing that they also care.
No comments:
Post a Comment